In my life, bad or good, events happen all of a sudden. Before I enjoy my current phase, I'm pushed into another phase; then, another. I wouldn't have enjoyed any of the phases. That that frustrates me.

Someday when I'm alone and to myself. Then, then the self begins to narrate a story. As I listen to the self, I exclaim, "Wait a nano! You are narrating my life!" The self, "Wow! You realize? Wun-der-ful!" I stretch myself, "Comm-on... Stop mocking!"

The clock ticks. The self continues, "Do you remember what you did..." From my balcony, I stare at the bright Venus. My everyday dialogue with it is, "Hi Venus! Howdy, this evening?" Venus glitters. I praise, "You grow beautiful everyday!"

The self snatches my cup of tea. It asks, "Are you with me?" I nod, "Yeps. Go on." It continues, "What are you searching? Though physically present, you are never with anyone, anyone at all... parents, bro, friends, your self... Why? Why are you restless?" I laugh, "Comm-on... I'm with you now. Tell me the rest, lass!" I can hear a "LIAR!" from my self.

This question "Are you with me?" is very difficult to answer. What does the question mean? What should I answer?

Say, I'm with friend sharing a few minutes in the evening before I end my day. When I'm comfortable with a person, I hardly speak. I enjoy my silence. I listen. Friend seriously asks, "Are you with me?" (Actually means, are you eyeing the guy in the next table?!) What do I answer?

If I say, "Yes, I'm with you." Friend thinks, "Gosh! What a liar!" I say again, "I'm with you. Go on. And... I ain't eyeing any guy other than you. Go on."

If I say, "No, I ain't with you. I'm totally tired. I forced myself to meet you. I'm thinking about pending work, which dress to wear tomorrow, which sandals to wear, if I have matching earrings..." Friend says, "Ok, have fun! I'm going." I say, "Ok, Let's go. I'm coming too."

If I say nothing at all. Friend will be long gone. I say, "Hey...! What's wrong?"

This is just one instance. Imagine if everyone dear to me ask the same question. Every instance of the question will have three outcomes. Say, 10 people ask me the same question, then... Now you realize how answers can complicate one's life... my life?

Are you with me? Answer me.

Asha